


Both Sides Now...

by millygal



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bi-Bro, Gen, episode coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 09:23:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10613997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millygal/pseuds/millygal
Summary: When it comes down to it, could either brother walk away?





	

**Author's Note:**

> spn_bunker are running their Bi-Bro Challenge in aid of levelling the playing field between the brothers and finding some common ground. The requirements; a fanwork with both brother's points of view involved, no bashing of either of them. This is set during the scene in 9X15 where psycho-serial killer boy has Dean manacled to a chair and Sam tied to a post. brightly_lit gave a list of prompts which mentioned those moments between the brothers where Sam seems geniunly concerned for Dean's safety...

**_Sam:_ **

Despite the fact that he's made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want to ever have to make 'that' decision again, because he'll come down on the side of common sense, Sam's world has just narrowed to a sharp, shining, blinding point of light where all he can see is the knife at Dean's throat, the maniacal grin of a psycho serial killer about to bathe himself in his brother's blood, and all sense and reason flies out the window.

"Dean!"

The look of hope in Dean's eyes almost kills Sam. It chips away incessantly at the wall he's been constructing around himself. He can't, _can't_. fall back into the trap of tit for tat. If he doesn't break the vicious cycle, who will?

If Dean only understood the reasons, Sam desperately needs him to _get it_! But every time they interact lately, all he seems to do is hurt his brother, make him feel like he doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. That wasn't what he wanted, has never been what he wanted to do.

Dean is still the most important person in Sam's life, and there in lies the problem. Sam was _always_ willing to die for his brother. And in doing so, some poor schmuck gets caught in the crossfire, Every.Single.Time!

He can remember those moments in their lives with perfect clarity.

Dad - gone.  
Jo and Ellen- gone.  
Bobby - gone.  
Kevin - fucking GONE!

He'd been so ready to move on, to leave this world and all it's inky-black, cloying hatred behind. Despite the love he sees on a daily basis, he wanted to walk into the light and leave behind the possibility of anyone else falling on their sword for either of them, but especially for him.

Most of all though, he needs Dean to understand that he, Sam Winchester, is not worth the self sacrifice!

Some times you have to be cruel to be kind and the longer this gaping chasm between them is left to fester, and grow, the more likely Dean is to really understand that Sammy, _the boy who needs saving_ , is no longer worth the time and effort.

 

**_Dean:_ **

Dean can feel the coolness of the metal at his throat, the sting of a blade ready to rend his head from his shoulders, and he _should_ be trying to figure a way out of this bloody mess, but all he can see is the look on Sam's face. The pure unadulterated fear that this may be the very last time he gets to see his brother with a pulse.

It doesn't make any sense! Why would he care? He's said it himself so many times in the last weeks.

_"You'd have done exactly the same thing!"  
"No, Dean, I wouldn't..."_

Dean closes his eyes, if only to block out the pain he can see mirrored in Sam's steely gaze. He can't allow himself to hope that at the very moment his life might be over, his brother will have come full circle and decided to love him again.

God, doesn't that sound nice and pussy whipped!

But...

That's the crux, that's the question on the tip of Dean's tongue every time he watches Sam's shoulders hunch as he walks away, yet a-fucking-gain!

When did the love between them turn into hate, turn into resentment and anger?

Dean's instincts, no matter the situation, are to protect Sam, at all costs.

All costs...

Maybe...

No, that couldn't be the reason, that couldn't be why Sam's been treating him like day old dog crap, could it?

Oh Sammy. You stupid...

Dean suddenly sees with complete clarity, with the blinkers removed, what exactly it is his baby brother's been doing, and he'd give anything to be able to walk over and slap him up side the head!

Sam's never been a cruel person, in fact the amount of times he's ripped it out of his brother for being too soft, too caring, for letting the little things rip holes in his heart and his head.

For the love of...Right, so Sam's bright idea buried in amongst all the crap that's been going down between them in the last few weeks is based on the premise that if he pisses Dean off enough, pushes him far enough away, that he will never take that leap ever again. He will never allow himself to get taken down on account of his little brother.

If they manage to get out of here, Dean's going to have to come up with a tactful way of bringing up the fact that Sam is a freaking idiot.

He may be angry at him, and he may be even angrier at himself for being the reason that people on his watch get hurt, but no amount of walking away is going to stop Dean from wanting to put himself between the big bad world and his baby brother.


End file.
